Making decision but for someone else

It’s hard to make decision for other people because you are not in their shoe. You are not them, you do not know what they want.
I have to make a decision. A decision if I should my allow my mom who is at the aged of 81 to take an injection (not sure what the medicinal term is call) that aids in CT scan analysis. It’s like having liquid that glows in your body so we can have a clearer CT scan analysis. There is a downside to this injection at this stage, that if the body is not able to discharge the liquid, it could lead to kidney failure. 

Why do we have to do that CT scan? Because during X-ray, the Doctors found a tint of shadow near the chest / lung area. There are suspicions of possible lump, in other words “might be cancerous”.  

So what do you do now? 

  • hoping for the best situation, taking the injection and have the CT scan and finds out that the shadow was nothing cancerous. 
  • or taking the injection and finding out that the lump is nothing cancerous but risk the chance of having kidney failure 

  • or take the injection, finds out that the shadow / lump is cancerous. Start doing the necessary stuff to deal with the cancerous lump depending on the stage that is it in.

remember that my mom is aged 81

Do I want her to suffer?

No.

I ask myself this question too, if it is me, will I want to do it? Do I want risk kidney failure and lived in a machine or will I choose to go peaceable. 

it’s Hard to make such decision

Eventually, I went for ignoring the injection and the CT scan. I have come to a conclusion that even if a “cancerous” lump was discover, there is no chance that we will want her to go through those painful treatments or even ops. All I want is comfort for her now. 

Most important what is more urgent on hand now is her stroke condition.

I realised people do not write or talk about all these. I think maybe “death” is a topic that people frequently avoid. I want to avoid this topic too but the time have come for me to talk about it. I believe it is important that if the day comes and I have to make even crazier decision for her, what does she want. 

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