I learned that when we compare ourselves, we don’t do it fairly. More importantly, the process of comparison leads to desperation, not happiness, and loosens, not tightens, our grip on reality.
As you start to compare, you start to lose your direction. And direction is what sets you on a different path.
I follow startup founders on twitter so I can learn the experiences they shared. I look up to all startup founders with respect as they take the crazy plunge into the startup scene.
It also have been said that if you want to be successful, you would need to follow a successful role model. You learn from him/her and to certain cases, you mimic the role model. Sometimes the line gets blurry between learning and imitating. You start to lose your “direction”, your path as you follow the role model.
But the worst that can happen is you start comparing with the role model. You start to lose your self-esteem and confidence. I start to realized this months ago. As the role model starts to share of his/her successes, the more intimated I feel about why “I’m not doing as good”?.
This was unhealthy so I took sometime off and mediate. I start to ask myself questions.
Is comparing making you feel better or worst?
You lead your own life and you can choose. Why make yourself feel bad? The difference between you and your role model now, used it as an opportunity. An opportunity to learn more and live.
all road leads to Rome?
Sometimes, things just happen. When the stars align, you get your big break. But does not mean you sit around waiting for the big break. Your role model big break came because he worked hard not to let it slip past. You too should work hard to make sure that the opportunity does not slip past you. And you will be in “Rome”, maybe a few days/months/years late.
embrace and love
Once your competitive ego starting running, you lose your heart to love. You start to embrace less. Learn to understand yourself and that you should be learning from the role model and not competing.
Embrace and celebrate your small win, it builds you up.
Focus on what your unique cocktail of nurture and nature enabled you to accomplish.
Now ask yourself, are you learning or comparing with your role model? And remember to use your differences as an opportunity.